Why am I always there for other people, but nobody is ever around for me when I really need someone. I just had my first emotional breakdown ever, and I had no one. I just want to SCREAM. Why do I do this to myself. I think I've finally taken on more than I can handle. Classes, SAB, PSP, CSI, relationships, friends, roommates, BULLSHIT! People are so selfish. Everyone. Why am I always the nice guy? I'm getting upset again... I have no motivation to do anything. My grades are already slipping and I'm sinking into a depression. Where do I go from here...
Wednesday, 07 January 2009
Christmas break is almost over! THANK GOD! I'm going nuts here at home. I can't take my parents closed-minded, bigoted ways much longer. This will probably be the last time I ever come home for an extended stay. I'm definitely living in Kirksville this summer.
Next week is going to be the busiest first week of school ever. Why do I get so involved? I must be suicidal.
4 more days til I get to be back with the people that make me happy. I miss them....
Dec. 21, 2012 still freaks me out.
Monday, 08 December 2008
Finals week sucks. I have no motivation to do anything. All I want to do is surround myself by the people I care about and have fun. I'm tired of being a student. I want to go out and see the world, experience everything that I should, and actually enjoy my life while I'm still young enough to be able to.
I'm in the middle of the happiest, most confusing, hardest, funnest, most depressing, busiest, most amazing time of my life. (Sigh...)
Monday, 01 December 2008
Am I doing the right thing?
Sunday, 30 November 2008
It's so hard to believe that this week is the last week of classes and then next week is finals. I have been so unproductive lately and I really hope that my GPA doesn't show the result of that... I've realized lately how burnt out I am because of school and I have at least 5 years left. I'm just sick of having to go to classes every day and study and do homework. I've been in school for over 15 years of my life now...crazy. That and the future scares the piss out of me...
On another note, I'm really not looking forward to going home for Christmas break. My family drove me nuts over the last 4 days; I really don't know if I can handle an entire month at home again. I'm really going to try to work as many hours as physically possible. I really don't want to leave Truman for that long either. There's just so many things here that I enjoy and care about that I don't want to leave behind for that long. I have very few friends back home now, as most have moved away or I just don't hang out with anymore.
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